Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
