She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
