That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
