so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
