drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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