blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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