They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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