they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
