I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
