Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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