we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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