I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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