I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
