i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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