you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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