I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
