Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
