Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I would fuck him just for his dog
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
