did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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