somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
