it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
