Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
