can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
