Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
