You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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