some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
