She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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