Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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