I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
