so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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