Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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