So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
