The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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