sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
