the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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