I don't think brook has ever known best
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I stole a fireplace last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
