I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
