Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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