i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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