Everything about him screamed your future.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
