so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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