Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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