have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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