At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
