I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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