her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
