i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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