FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
