i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
