Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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