remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
