the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize