shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
splinters make it hard to masturbate
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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