So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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