he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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