Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
