Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
