trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
