this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
