I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There are leaves in my underwear?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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