My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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