Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
